Long Time No Post

Hello all! It has been over a month since I posted. Im sorry. Its been a tough month for me, and I feel like I am finally on the upswing and feeling like putting some of this on paper...er on computer. Things in the village have been faltering a bit, people not really showing interest in my projects and activities and I have been feeling a bit alone in my work. I have let it affect my disposition and have generally been feeling bummed out that Im not doing more/having more of an impact. I remember when we were in training and they talked to us about how Peace Corps service would give us the highest highs and the lowest lows. I was so excited about being here that I didnt even think about what those lows would feel like. I even remember joking with our instructor that he was saying we would all become bipolar. Maybe not so funny with some perspective. This past month I have had to deal with the collapse of my school garden, two projects (a trip to a water park and a library) receiving little to no support from my village, and what I have felt is a general apathy to what I want to do. I think I have let it affect me more personally than is good and/or healthy. Im not saying that it shouldnt get to me, its just that it has taken me a while to break out of this funk. While all this is going on my puppy contracted distemper, a virus that is often fatal for dogs. He has been sick for a month, stopped eating for two weeks, and now will only eat hot dogs (definitely my dog if you consider the hot dog thing!) The really tough part is that even if he physically gets healthy again the virus often travels to their brain and basically fries their mind. Moses will spend 20 minutes staring at a wall panting. I think he just doesnt know where he is or whats going on. Im waiting it out to see if he gets better, but if he stays this way I have to make the decision on putting him down. It is agonizing to watch your puppy suffer and know that there is nothing you can do. As if things werent tough enough right now my computer up and died last week. AHHHH!!!!
This weekend I went to Caye Caulker for a couple of nights, just to get away from everything and gain some sense of perspective. I will also be going into Belmopan tomorrow to talk to my APCD (basically a decision making staff member) and try to figure out what we can do to make this a positive experience for all involved. The trip to the island was wonderful, I got to relax and read on the beach, sip a Belikin or two, hang out with a good friend and meet all sorts of fun and interesting people exuding positive vibes. Sometimes I get jealous of all of these young travelers on their multimonth trips through central america, but it feels wonderful to just soak up some of the energy and rehabilitate my mind, body and soul.
Things have been hard, but as I feel better I believe my own frustration will slink off and I will regain my optimistic approach towards this experience. As Bob Marley told me at least 10 times this weekend... "Dont worry, about a thing....every little thing...is gonna be alright!"